The Internet is Bananas.

Self-publishing is such a bizarre ability that used to not really even be a thing. If you wanted to broadcast your thoughts you had to get on a stage or just… be really loud?

But now we can all self-publish anything, any time, and that is pretty crazy. Social media makes it so we all are celebrities, kind of – we’re all constantly presenting ourselves to each other in a packaged form.

It’s why Facebook drove me crazy in high school… oh boy we’re about to get way too personal. But is that not what I do best?

Continue reading “The Internet is Bananas.”

I’ve always been a little weird…

I just want to get out of my own way for a second and type what’s in my head.

There is a weird comfort here that I lost with my videos when people started watching. It’s nice to feel like you’re in a cozy seminar, just you and the few people who happen to engage with whatever you put out there. It’s not too few to be lonely, but it’s not too many to be scary.

Continue reading “I’ve always been a little weird…”

Okay. Blogging.

I’ve been learning a lot. I’ve been feeling like I, uh… I guess I feel like I don’t really fit anywhere. I tried getting behind a microphone, and that didn’t work. I tried working retail again, and that didn’t work. I tried YouTube, but now that I have a shot at making that work, I’m too afraid and insecure to make it work, probably.

I just, I’ve written myself into a corner. On the one hand, I have… something. A uniqueness, I guess. Whatever my YouTube stuff has been so far, it’s… its own thing, I feel. But the problem with that is, I have no idea where I fit. Am I a “Philosophy YouTuber” and if so, how could I possibly even hope to compete with the incredible philosophy content that already exists? And if not, why bother with the philosophy stuff at all? But for me the philosophy stuff is the point of the channel. Continue reading “Okay. Blogging.”

“There’s no such thing as angels, but there are people who might as well be…”

This is a blog, and the point of a blog is to overshare in a way that’s interesting/compelling, right? Which means this is a safe place for me to just be me, right?

Ideally, maybe, but it sure doesn’t feel that way, anymore. Maybe because I’m too young to understand the difference between awkwardness and true dumbassitude. Shakespeare invented words, too, don’t tell me how to live my life! …says the girl trying to figure out how she got so crazy that she can’t even tell which of HER OWN voices is really her, anymore.

Anyway but maybe we all have a multitude of voices so the part that’s weird is just admitting to it in the wrong spaces. But we have so many new, bizarre spaces in which to communicate, now. It’s not easy to figure out how to do that effectively on every possible scale. It’s not easy to realize that the simulated world and the real world are one and the same.

Continue reading ““There’s no such thing as angels, but there are people who might as well be…””

I guess I have a blog, now.

A blog in progress, in any case.I have this problem where I can’t sleep at night so I ramble on twitter or text message or wherever just to try to get the thoughts out of my head so I can sleep. And yes, I journal, but there’s something about having at least the idea of someone else reading what you write that… I’ve always been a little preoccupied with, even in my earliest journals. Continue reading “I guess I have a blog, now.”