I’ve been learning a lot. I’ve been feeling like I, uh… I guess I feel like I don’t really fit anywhere. I tried getting behind a microphone, and that didn’t work. I tried working retail again, and that didn’t work. I tried YouTube, but now that I have a shot at making that work, I’m too afraid and insecure to make it work, probably.
I just, I’ve written myself into a corner. On the one hand, I have… something. A uniqueness, I guess. Whatever my YouTube stuff has been so far, it’s… its own thing, I feel. But the problem with that is, I have no idea where I fit. Am I a “Philosophy YouTuber” and if so, how could I possibly even hope to compete with the incredible philosophy content that already exists? And if not, why bother with the philosophy stuff at all? But for me the philosophy stuff is the point of the channel. Continue reading “Okay. Blogging.”
“Words are loaded pistols.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
I once wrote a short story about a boy who was mute because he realized that each time he spoke, he gave a piece of his soul to the person listening.
Obviously, if anything, I’m the opposite. But I still think every time you speak, you’re giving a piece of yourself to whoever is listening. I think we forget how powerful words can be, we kind of have to forget how powerful they can be, because if we didn’t we would be like the boy in my story, & just stop talking.
Personally, I can’t help but be honest about what I think and feel regardless of consequences, which is often problematic. It’s a habit I’m trying to break, or at least to control a little better. But I think it’s hard for people to tell the truth. It’s hard to be truly yourself in your words because you’re giving a piece of who you really are to someone, and that’s scary. It’s much easier to develop a persona or a facade to hide behind, to say what you think people want to hear. Continue reading “Learning how to aim.”