Philosophers in a sentence

I just felt like doing this, it’s not going to be perfect or complete at all:

  • Arendt: Evil can be banal.
  • de Beauvoir: Something about ambiguity?
  • Camus: Life isn’t fair but fuck it, make it your bitch instead while you can.
  • Descartes: The only certain thought I can have is that I’m thinking, and also some stuff about God.
  • Epicurus: Pleasure is dope but also complicated?
  • Foucault: Prisons are fucked, fucking is fucked, and also… uh… acid?
  • Gadamer: Jesus who knows, that guy is over my head.
  • Hobbes: Anarchy is shit, therefore totalitarianism.
  • I… don’t know any philosophers that start with I.
  • Jaspers: Technology is a fickle mistress?
  • Kant: I Kant get no satisfaction. Just kidding, uh… the categorical imperative and synthetic a priori blah blah stuff.
  • Liebniz: This is the best of all possible worlds, and also… other stuff probably.
  • Marx: Capitalism is fucked.
  • Nietszche: God is dead and we have killed him, so we need to find a new way to talk about moral issues or we’ll just be totally hosed.
  • Oppenheimer: is a name that maybe corresponds to a philosopher I have no idea
  • Pascal? Plutarch? I got nothin on either.
  • Quine: fucking, like… qua? Do I only think he coined that because they both start with Q?
  • Rousseau: Uhhh beauty and stuff and also society, honestly I don’t remember.
  • Sartres: Existentialist broo-haha. What more is there to know, and also it’s a great word.
  • Thoreau: one should experience nature, and oneself… thoroughly. I’ll go.
  • U…?
  • Voltaire: Y’all academics are all nuts, don’t @ me.
  • Wittgenstein: What are words, mannnnn?
  • X…
  • Y…
  • Zeno: All movement is basically a math miracle.

That was fun…? I’ll try again with new people sometime for funsies.

3 thoughts on “Philosophers in a sentence

  1. I know K is taken by Kant but….I can’t help but feel a little bad for Kierkegaard.

    No regard for the Kierkegaard?
    No adorin’ for ol’ Soren?
    Did the existentialist Dane howl in vain?

    Liked by 1 person

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