“There is no object so foul that intense light will not make beautiful…”

…has always been one of my favorite quotes. 

I don’t know if I believe that it’s true, but I want it to be. 

I want to believe that everything, everyone, has a purpose. That there are no accidents. That even the worst of us plays a role in the story of life that in a certain light makes sense, that redemption is possible for anyone, on a long enough timeline. 

I think ultimately it’s probably because like Ralph Waldo Emerson, I want to believe in God – but not a man in the sky version of God, the version of God where the Holy Trinity is Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. 

It’s ultimately kind of a desire just to believe that even when life sucks, if you could see things the way they are, exactly how they are, that maybe the inescapable and infinite suffering of being alive isn’t a cruel joke but the mechanism by which the universe polishes consciousness into something more and more beautiful. 

I don’t think that life is fair. I don’t believe in karma, or divine justice. But I do think that even though we think we’re all separate pieces of the human puzzle, fighting to take up space, that we’re actually not puzzle pieces at all, but raindrops that only exist as drops while they’re falling, but end up back in the same body of water as all the other drops, in the end, and so everything we do to other people while we’re alive winds up being something we did to ourselves, too, and the ultimate joke is that God isn’t a Great Judge in the Sky who tallies up our good and bad deeds, but just a metaphor to understand the fact that we were never really separate from everything else, at all. 

Continue reading ““There is no object so foul that intense light will not make beautiful…””

The Internet is Bananas.

Self-publishing is such a bizarre ability that used to not really even be a thing. If you wanted to broadcast your thoughts you had to get on a stage or just… be really loud?

But now we can all self-publish anything, any time, and that is pretty crazy. Social media makes it so we all are celebrities, kind of – we’re all constantly presenting ourselves to each other in a packaged form.

It’s why Facebook drove me crazy in high school… oh boy we’re about to get way too personal. But is that not what I do best?

Continue reading “The Internet is Bananas.”

I’ve always been a little weird…

I just want to get out of my own way for a second and type what’s in my head.

There is a weird comfort here that I lost with my videos when people started watching. It’s nice to feel like you’re in a cozy seminar, just you and the few people who happen to engage with whatever you put out there. It’s not too few to be lonely, but it’s not too many to be scary.

Continue reading “I’ve always been a little weird…”

Epic, Part ii (Hadestown)

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I’ve been thinking about this song all day, and was going to tweet about it but then I was like… nah bitch, this is what we started a blog for!

I just think each word of this song is so lovely… in case I have yet to persuade you to listen to this album, Hadestown is a rock opera performed by Anaiis Mitchell and many others, that explores the story of Orpheus & Eurydice.

The story of Orpheus and Eurydice is an Ancient Greek one. In this song, Orpheus is singing about Hades, the god of the underworld, whose wife, Persephone, the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of fertility & nature, is also a major player in the story arc of the album. Anyway so Orpheus, the idealist/artist/musician/lover of beauty, is trying to save his love, Eurydice (who symbolizes purity, justice, innocence…) from Hades after her untimely demise, and in so doing travels to & observes the Underworld (“Hadestown”).

Continue reading “Epic, Part ii (Hadestown)”

Okay. Blogging.

I’ve been learning a lot. I’ve been feeling like I, uh… I guess I feel like I don’t really fit anywhere. I tried getting behind a microphone, and that didn’t work. I tried working retail again, and that didn’t work. I tried YouTube, but now that I have a shot at making that work, I’m too afraid and insecure to make it work, probably.

I just, I’ve written myself into a corner. On the one hand, I have… something. A uniqueness, I guess. Whatever my YouTube stuff has been so far, it’s… its own thing, I feel. But the problem with that is, I have no idea where I fit. Am I a “Philosophy YouTuber” and if so, how could I possibly even hope to compete with the incredible philosophy content that already exists? And if not, why bother with the philosophy stuff at all? But for me the philosophy stuff is the point of the channel. Continue reading “Okay. Blogging.”