This is a blog, and the point of a blog is to overshare in a way that’s interesting/compelling, right?
Which means this is a safe place for me to just be me, right?
Ideally, maybe, but it sure doesn’t feel that way, anymore. Maybe because I’m too young to understand the difference between awkwardness and true dumbassitude.
(Shakespeare invented words, too, don’t tell me how to live my life! …says the girl trying to figure out how she got so crazy that she can’t even tell which of HER OWN voices is really her, anymore.)
Anyway but maybe we all have a multitude of voices so the part that’s weird is just admitting to it in the wrong spaces. But we have so many new, bizarre spaces in which to communicate, now. It’s not easy to figure out how to do that effectively on every possible scale. It’s not easy to realize that the simulated world and the real world are one and the same.
It’s just, I feel like I need to explain myself to every person I meet but I don’t have time to go over the whole thing that many times. So I started a YouTube channel where you can see the whole picture, if you really want to. But I neglected real life, in the process. Partly because I’m just not very good at real life.
Continue reading ““There’s no such thing as angels, but there are people who might as well be…””
“Words are loaded pistols.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
I once wrote a short story about a boy who was mute because he realized that each time he spoke, he gave a piece of his soul to the person listening.
Obviously, if anything, I’m the opposite. But I still think every time you speak, you’re giving a piece of yourself to whoever is listening. I think we forget how powerful words can be, we kind of have to forget how powerful they can be, because if we didn’t we would be like the boy in my story, & just stop talking.
Personally, I can’t help but be honest about what I think and feel regardless of consequences, which is often problematic. It’s a habit I’m trying to break, or at least to control a little better. But I think it’s hard for people to tell the truth. It’s hard to be truly yourself in your words because you’re giving a piece of who you really are to someone, and that’s scary. It’s much easier to develop a persona or a facade to hide behind, to say what you think people want to hear. Continue reading “Learning how to aim.”
A blog in progress, in any case.I have this problem where I can’t sleep at night so I ramble on twitter or text message or wherever just to try to get the thoughts out of my head so I can sleep. And yes, I journal, but there’s something about having at least the idea of someone else reading what you write that… I’ve always been a little preoccupied with, even in my earliest journals. Continue reading “I guess I have a blog, now.”